and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
