wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
