btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
