We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
