Me too!
Where is the hickey?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
