Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My pussy is not your playground.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Randomize