some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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