White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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