She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
