He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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