we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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