It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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