I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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