I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
