at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
