Can i not drive my cunt home
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You are a genius and a whore.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
