I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
