It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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