Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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