His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize