sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
