We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize