so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
just found out that she named her cat after me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
