I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
