he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
