my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
