I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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