so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
