i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
