so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
