i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
