No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
