nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize