Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
