All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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