Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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