I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize