There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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