just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
