I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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