the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize