is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
