my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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