You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
