i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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