the new term for farting is butt boxing.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
