Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
