That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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