Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You ruined the universe
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
