there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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