Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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