Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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