Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
