Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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