Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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