he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
