it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
