I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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