Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
