The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
