I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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