We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
