just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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